Okay, back on track

The last two weeks have been tumultuous. I accepted a job in a field that is not directly related to mental health: I hadn't had any luck with social service agencies in the area, and it was time to start getting some paychecks. The job is a research position in the field of education; I'm still kind of bummed about this step, as it feels like I'm moving away from what I want, not towards it. This is more symbolic than real - I know I can always leave after six, twelve, or 15 months when something more relevant comes along - but can symbols still have a strong hold on our ideas about ourselves.

But I've come to some acceptance about this step. Now I need to make some progress on my practice: The whole point of taking this job (besides not becoming homeless) is to have the financial stability to move ahead with my licensure and with my private practice.

My current goal is this: By the end of the year I will have saved a decent amount of money; I will have 4-6 regular clients (I'd be happy with 4) on one day a week (and maybe an added evening); I will have made a number of mistakes and corrected for them, thus learning what I need to learn about what works and what doesn't, and honing my business into a well-functioning practice. Then I'll only be 4 months or so away from getting my license. I'm hoping that, around 2013, a promising part-time agency position will open up somewhere. I like the idea of working at a mental health center for 2-3 days a week and doing my private practice 2-3 days a week.

My plan of 'opening shop' by February 1 is looking like it needs scaling back. I still need a supervisor signed on, then I need to file the forms with the Dept. of Health. I need to write my blurbs, website, etc.

But as long as I take it one 'action step' at a time I think I can move forward. Stay tuned!

Running out of steam...

Last week I made a lot of progress... this week I've been running out of steam. This is in part because of my potential job. I mentioned in the last post on 'progress' that I'd gotten a job. It's not a job I particularly want, but it would give me financial stability as I start up my practice. I originally wanted to work 3 days/week, but they pushed for four. This would only leave one weekday (probably a Monday) for my practice, and maybe a weekend day.

I'm still in negotiations over salary, but I've found that my spirit is already somewhat broken, at least temporarily. I'm afraid I won't have the time or energy to really focus on my practice the way I'd like, and there's something about being forced to sell your time for money that just squashes the soul. In that mindset, it's hard to put a lot of energy towards something that feels like it's going to get pushed aside.

This job would entail some travel, and while they agreed that I could request to not travel on the day I have free for my practice, there's always a chance when they will "make" me go if it's an emergency; or, I might have to be in Nebraska on a Tuesday morning, and need to travel Monday night. This would seriously mess with my practice schedule if I have sessions on a Monday evening.

What to do? I think I still have to take the job, but I'm nervous. Maybe I should consider just doing my practice on a Saturday. I wish I knew if there was much demand for therapy on a day like that. Does anyone know? Where would I find out?

Also, my supervisor - the one I was really happy about finding - fell through. I have some more options, but I haven't had the energy to contact them - I need to find out what my work situation will be first.

So, that is all. Oh, and my business license came in the mail. I taped it to my office wall, and I also went to the thrift store and bought an in-out box. So that's progress, right?


At times like this, I wish I were independently wealthy. I recently saw, randomly, on Facebook, that the mom of an old class-mate had gone into private practice late in her life (all the kids in their 20s and 30s). She can rely on her husband's work and just take it up as 'lightly' as it were.

Not that I'm suffering - I'm very lucky overall. But I have to make sure my family has insurance and enough money first, and in this country that involves working in a salaried position. (remind me to make a tangential rant about insurance in this country, even though it's been made a million times; in brief: This country's healthcare system is fucked up!) My point is that it would just make things a lot easier if I could focus on my new business 100%.

I'm hoping once the job is worked out, or not, I'll feel more able to really focus on the business again - hopefully in couple of days.